Buying a home is a little like dating: the photos can be flattering, the first meeting can be electric, and you can absolutely ignore red flags because the kitchen has a waterfall island and you “just feel something.”
This is your permission slip to slow down.
Because the goal is not to “win” a house. The goal is to choose a home that fits your real life, your real budget, and your real tolerance for surprises. So before you get emotionally engaged, run the relationship through a compatibility checklist.
1) Non-negotiables
Write these down before you tour.
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Location basics (schools, commute, walkability)
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Beds/baths (real ones, not “creative” ones)
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Parking
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Outdoor space
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Layout needs (office, single-story, open kitchen, etc.)
2) Dealbreakers
These are the things you’ll resent later.
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Noise exposure (busy street, flight path)
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Poor natural light
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No storage
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HOA rules you’ll hate
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Major repairs you’re not willing to manage
3) Green flags
Not sexy, very valuable.
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Roof/HVAC/plumbing/electrical updated
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Permits for major work
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Clean, clear disclosures
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“Normal” inspection story (not mystery water damage)
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Functional layout and real storage
4) Red flags
Some can be negotiated. Some should end the date.
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Water stains, window leaks, musty smells
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Sloping floors, significant cracks
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Evidence of unpermitted work
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Overpowering “fresh scent” masking something
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Drainage issues or pooling near the foundation
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Tree roots threatening sewer lines
5) Score the match (don’t chase the spark)
Rate each 1–5:
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Location fit
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Layout fit
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Light/noise/privacy
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Condition + systems
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Future flexibility (resale, ability to adapt)
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Budget fit (including repairs + monthly costs)
A home that scores well is a better match than a home that just gives you butterflies.
6) Confirm the “relationship terms” (money + reality)
Before you fall in love:
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All-in monthly cost (mortgage, taxes, insurance, HOA)
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Insurance feasibility (especially higher-risk areas)
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Repair reserve (even “move-in ready” needs money)
Bottom line
Fall in love if you want. Just don’t let the crush write the offer. The best homes feel good and hold up under scrutiny: solid disclosures, manageable risk, and numbers that won’t ruin your life.
